The List #4: Top Ten Commercials (Funny or Otherwise)

I don't watch TV that much, but honestly when I do I'm not bothered by commercials. (I realize there is TiVo and what not BUT, for those without TiVo, think if you had to watch a whole show without a potty break, or getting another beer/glass of wine, or taking the dogs out? You wouldn't be too happy, would you Mrs. Leg-crosser Dry-Mouth "Quit Your Damn Barking" Man, would you? So for those reasons alone I rejoice in the name of commercials! Bring them on!

Am I moved to leap from my chair and run out to purchase most of the products I see? Um, no. I dont know that I've EVER purchased something based on how clever the ad is. For example, I think that those half-naked hooker Miller Lite ads were super clever, but NOTHING and NO ONE will ever trick me into thinking Miller Lite "tastes great." That's just crazy talk. Miller Lite is pee pee in a bottle. And btw, no will ever convince me to consume a Miller Lite. I don’t like pee pee. Anyway, that to me [purchasing the product, in case I lost you there], is not the point of commercials.

Also, to be perfectly honest, it's the really good commercials that I forget the product easiest! Most of the time I'm so distracted by the commerical that when describing it to someone later I'm at a loss for what the product even was. Nike or Reebok or Adidas? Who cares, but did you see the cute doggie?!

OK here we go again. WHY do I punish myself?:
1 - Nike basketball with the dribble/dribble/pass. The most ridiculously cool commercial ever. Maybe the ONLY cool commercial ever?

2 - OK this is a real commercial for Montgomery Flea Market that became famous through YouTube. Consider yourself warned: this commercial is irritatingly catchy, it will stick in your head, and "It's just like ... a mini ... MALL!"

3 - Terry Tate Superbowl Commercial. Not often do I laugh out loud at a commercial, and this one has a bonus element of surprise.

4 - The Name is Dumass Here is a prime example of a commercial that outshines the product. I don’t know what it’s for, but I know I like it! In fact, I didn’t even look to tell YOU what it’s for!

5 - Pet Smart doggie commercial. Awww

6 - Budweiser Horses w/ zebra referee

7 - Citizen's Bank "Pay it forward" type commercials where like, a teenager will give a pregnant woman his seat on a bus, so a man who witnessed that gets all warm and fuzzy on the inside and is moved to share his umbrella with an old woman waiting to cross the same street he is. Aw actually makes me tear up. Not kidding. [Note: I can't find this online and my hunter is in Hawaii! :-( Share the link if you find it!]

8 - Coca Cola Buy the World a Coke Christmas Listen. It’s Christmas and it’s Coca Cola. There ain’t nothin’ better than Coca Cola and Christmas time.

9 - Classic. "Off the floor, off the scoreboard, off the bank board, no rim." NAME IT!

10 - Apple Computers F’ing creepy ass commercial. Gives me chills.

If you're super-motivated, here's the long version of the best commercial ever.

Calling all daycare owners!

Calling all Cheeksdown fans (who happen to also own a daycare)! We need your help! Today at lunch Fran shared an awesome idea for a new video, but unfortunately we don’t have the resources at our disposal to pull it off. If only we had a reputable, modern daycare center that allows parents to go online and watch a live video feed of their kids, we would be set! (If I had a nickel for every time I said THAT!)

Fran’s idea is once the parents drop their kids off and head to work, we replace the real kids with midgets wearing the same outfits the kids were wearing in the room where the cameras are. When the parents get online and bring up the video feed, they’ll be shocked and awed to see their little Johnny drinking beer, smoking, playing with knives, and doing all the pint-sized debauchery that you can imagine.

We’re figuring we can rent the midgets from Rent-A-Midget (http://www.tinyentertainment.com - true current website headline: Book a Christmas Elf Before it's Too Late!). The only thing this flawless idea is lacking is a reputable daycare center that is willing to be in cahoots with us on the prank. Granted there is the slight risk that some of the parents may think it not funny and attempt to press charges…but remember that (although it is completely recycled, worn-out humor) little people are comedic gold. So please send us an email to Fran if you are willing to help us out on this one…

Fun Rangers (episodes 1-4)

4 oddly funny videos from Blame Society Productions. If you get it, these are f'ing hilarious...if you don't...well then don't watch episode 2-4.

Episode 1:




Episode 2:




Episode 3:




Episode 4:

Star Wars Trumpet Spectacular

If George Lucas isn’t already hanging his head in shame after Star Wars Episode 1, the Holiday Special or the Battle for Endor…this video certainly should do it. Imagine knowing you are the man who inspired this performance.

Old video but still gay...I mean funny

The biggest TV news fnck up of all time…I love how her co-host does the immediate, you’re-on-your-own look at his papers. I’m Ron Burgandy?

The List #4: Top Ten SNL Skits

SNL has definitely been a rollercoaster ride of good and bad times, no? There are skits (Brian Fellow's Safari Planet, Opera Man) and players (Dana Carvey) that always make me chuckle; those that perplex me as to why they are funny (Sprockets/Kevin Nealon in general); even some that piss me off b/c they are SO stupid (Deep Thoughts/Melanie Hutsell).

This list was tough b/c there are perennial favorites that are always at the very least humorous and worth a look-up on YouTube, like Debbie Downer. There are classics like the Coneheads that I will always consider comedic genius. Those are awesome, but for this list I'm talking about specific skits that had me really laughing out loud. So no saying "Wayne's World!" I mean, WHICH Wayne's World? Be more constructive with your feedback (Steeeeeeeve)...

BTW can I quickly make an SNL Dream Team? My top ten SNLers, all doing one super-stupendous show: Mike Meyers, Adam Sandler, Dan Akroyd, Steve Martin, Jane Curtin, Amy Poehler, Will Ferrell, Gilda Radnor, Bill Murray, Andy Sandberg (or Tracy Morgan or Chris Parnell. And if you yell about the indecisiveness shhhhhhh!)

Dream Team Host? choice #1- Justin Timberlake. I KNOW, I KNOW but the couple he was on were so freakin good. So WAH to you! Choice #2- Tom Hanks. Choice #3- Natalie Portman

Alright, drumroll please:

1 - Dick in a Box - With all the "classic" skits out there, I know this will get backlash, but whatever. It's definitely the hardest I have ever laughed at ANYthing on TV.

2 - Celebrity Jeopardy featuring "Anal Bum Cover"

3 - Steve Martin's "King Tut"

4 - More Cowbell! Blue Oyster Cult skit with Christopher Walken

5 - Chris Farley's Matt Foley skit - I love that Christina Applegate is doing everything she can not to burst out laughing

6 - Adam Sandler's Hanukah Song

7 - Oops I Crapped My Pants commercial

8 - Natalie Portman Digital Shorts gangsta rap

9 - Drunk Girl talking about Spring Break (different Drunk Girl link because we can't find Spring Break!)

10 - Michael Vick "Really"

So that's my list. I feel so naked. HOWEVER, I admit that while reading the (I predict thoroughly obnoxious) responses to this list I will undoubtedly curse a lot and say things like, "Crap! I forgot that one!" So I'm pouring out a mental 40 for those skits that I have mistakenly overlooked and didn't make my list. This one’s for my homies.

OK, let the tirade begin.

Reading YouTube Comments

We LOVE comments on our videos...here we read some of our favorite comments on Hide and Go Poop from YouTube.

It's Every Cuss Word They Know

Another hilarious one from Stuckey and Murray.

Automated Phone Sex

Jon Murray (from StuckeyandMurray.com) enjoys phone sex every now and then. Who doesn't? See what happens when an automated operator takes over.